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It Really Does Get Better

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a while. Pixar inspired me to post it.

I find it odd that so many adults have a severe disdain for teenagers. Yes, teenagers are often annoying, but we cannot pretend that adolescence is not a difficult period in one’s life.

“Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They don’t remember what it’s like to be 12 years old. They patronize, they treat children as inferiors. Well I won’t do that.” – Walt Disney

I remember when I was a teenager, I grew up in a neighborhood besieged by violence, sexual predators, gangs, drugs, and petty crime—and our city was on the border of middle-class suburbia. It was difficult to resist cutting class when every single one of my friends was cutting class. It was difficult to see the point in getting good grades when my family was falling apart at the seams. And, when nothing in my life was going right, it was difficult to see the point in facing another day.

Teenagers are experiencing one of the most dangerous, vulnerable periods of their lives, and the best most adults can say to them is, “Oh, get over it! It’s not that bad. When I was your age”… “You’re young. You don’t know what real suffering is. When I was your age”… “You think you know everything, but you have no idea. When I was your age”….

Eh…. I hate to break it to you, Grandpa, but things are different than they were when you were a teenager. Today’s teenagers have a completely different set of problems. Minimizing someone else’s problems doesn’t make those problems go away, it only distances you in their mind. You are no longer someone that person can come to with their “petty” problems.

Next time you come across a moody adolescent, try to remember what it was like to be that age. Try to remember what it was like when you first realized that every mistake you made could affect your future, but at the same time nothing you did mattered. Try to remember what it was like when you were called a loser, ugly, fag, fat-ass, psycho, or dweeb on a daily basis.

Try to remember that kids are cruel, but you don’t have to be. And, if you’re a teenager, try to remember that it gets better.


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If only….

So, we all like to post our favorite quotes on Twitter and Facebook and our refrigerators and our bumpers, and this got me thinking about one of my favorite quotes.

“In the pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.”
– R.H. Grenville

This is something I know I always struggle with. When is what you have, what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve experienced…. enough? When is your life good enough to make you happy?

I struggle with this idea often. Constantly.

“If only I could lose those last 15 lbs….”

“If only I had a more fuel-efficient vehicle….”

“If only I had perfect skin….”

“If only I had new flooring….”

“If only I had my degree…..”

“If only I had a publishing contract….”

“If only……”…. I could just be happy with what I have.

Anyone else have any “if onlys”?

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For any of you writers dying to scratch your Twitter itch, here are fifty reasons to forgo the anti-itch cream.


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T.S. Welti, P.I.

I’ve had an eventful few days….

Wednesday afternoon I found out I have roof rats getting into my attic. No writing done.

Yesterday, Arielle’s iPhone was stolen from her backpack during P.E. I went BERZERK with my investigative (threatening) skills and got the phone back by 5:30 PM yesterday. Walked inside the house and stepped in dog poop. My 1-year-old pup had a relapse after many months of housetrained bliss! Ugh. No writing done.

Today, I woke up to the news that Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize (yay!) and we crashed some spacecraft on the moon to try to find evidence of ice/water.

Now, I’m sitting at my desk, with about eight piles of work in front of me, wondering to myself, “What’s next?”

Surely, life will allow me to get some writing done tonight. If not, I will murder someone.

EDIT: To top it off, today’s healthy eating plan is destined for detriment. We’re having sandwiches and potato salad for the whole office. Then someone brought in two of these Wagon Wheel Danishes. Basically, it’s a danish that’s almost as big as a wagon wheel! And so good. 😦

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Pivotal Moment?

Well, I’m back at work from having four days off. I really wish I were back home. I want to write.

I got down a scene from one of the books yesterday. I had been running over the scene in my head since Friday night. All day Saturday I kept “noticing” the details of the scene: the setting, the dialogue (internal and spoken), the logistics of the information being revealed. I couldn’t get it out of my head, so yesterday I typed most of it out in my outline for the book.

It wasn’t until I studied the outline that I realized what a pivotal scene this was. It’s not just the scene where important information is revealed to my main character, it’s also the scene where he acknowledges (to himself) his feelings for another character. It is such a pivotal moment in the story. I was so glad to get it down, even if right now it is just a skeleton of what I’m sure it will be once I get to that part of the story.

So, I’ve been a bit depressed lately because I moved out to this new place and I don’t really know anyone out here. Then my neighbor invited me to her birthday party, but I couldn’t afford to get her a gift so I had to decline. I felt really bad, but now my neighbor won’t respond to any of my messages. I wished her a happy birthday and a merry christmas and she never responded. Am I being insensitive or is she being a bit presumptuous in assuming I had an obligation to attend her birthday party when I’ve only known her for a few months and we’ve only spoken a handful of times? Which is it, huh? lol

So, the depression stems from the loneliness. I went from having a healthy social life to a non-existent one. I broke down and signed up on one of those internet dating sites a couple days ago in hopes of meeting some locals. Has anyone else on here done that? Well, anyways, I don’t know how else I’m going to have the time to meet people out here. I work full-time, drive home 35 miles, cook dinner, have mommy time with Arielle, work out (sometimes), write (sometimes), clean house, shower….. So what do you guys think? Am I being hasty?

Well, anyway, I’ve developed a lot of leads with this online thing, but it’s a bit funny. I get emails from guys ranging from 20-45 years old. Some of them are sleazes making comments about my breasts. Ugh. Some are hopelessly spelling-challenged. It’s funny. But anyway, I don’t respond to anyone who doesn’t have a picture, anyone who sends me a cut and paste message, or anyone who looks like my dad. Good rules?

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I’m here.

I’m queer. Get over it.

Well, I have actually had a lot of REAL work to do for the past couple of days. And I will continue to have A LOT of real work to do until Christmas Eve. Boo. I’m working on a proposal for a $30 million dollar public safety center. My role on the project team: Grunt who does all the work and gets no recognition. 😦

Yep. I give away my milk for free. No need to thank me. I’m just that kind of cow.

So I may not get on here to wish you all a very merry holiday, whichever one you celebrate, or even if you don’t celebrate (I don’t know why I do.)



Oh yeah, one more thing…. It snowed at my house last night!!!! The last time it snowed at any house I lived in was when I lived in Oregon 13 years ago. It never snows in L.A. Arielle was outside last night in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops throwing snowballs at the columns in the front of the house (because I wouldn’t let her throw them at me). It was pretty cool. 🙂

Well, I’d better get back to work.

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Sure. Sounds like fun.

Ugh. I couldn’t even complain about how slow people were driving in the rain today, because I couldn’t blame them. The rain was pouring down in sheets. Visibility was… well, whatever the weatherman says when it’s not good. Shitty? Crappy?

My morning commute normally takes 45 minutes. Today it took 1 hour and 20 minutes. Yuck! Luckily, I only made it to work 13 minutes late.

I feel desperate for Starbucks today. Maybe it’s the rain. Seattlesque? Maybe it’s just ’cause I’m in a writerly mood. Don’t tell the boss. I’ve been spending most of my time making the switch to first-person this morning. I’m on chapter six of the switch and it’s getting A LOT easier. I think Tania (angrypeanut) was right on when she mentioned internal dialogue being difficult to write in third-person. It is SO much easier to right it in first-person. No more blocks or misdirection. The story and the characters are progressing so naturally now.

So I may give in to this Starbucks craving when I get home. I’ll have to take the toll road again if I plan on not being in traffic for the rest of my life. I should get home about 4pm. I’ll probably skip dinner and go to Starbucks around 5pm. Then I can stay up into the wee hours of the morning playing in my imaginary world. Sounds like a plan.

Therein lies the beauty of my new neighborhood. I’m far enough away from any main road that I don’t hear anything at night. Nothing, except maybe a dog bark once in a long while or a coyote howl once every few weeks. It’s so nice for getting into “writer mode,” as Arielle calls it. That’s when I stare at ordinary things for long periods of time and then run to grab the laptop before I lose my train of thought. Silence really works for that kind of stuff. And there are only three businesses anywhere within a five mile radius: Vons, Wells Fargo, and Starbucks. So I’m covered. Life is sweet.

Speaking of my ‘hood…. People in our area are supposed to be on the lookout for a couple in their sixties who are going around abducting people, forcing them to withdraw cash from their ATMs, and then releasing them unharmed. In their sixties!!! What is this world coming to?

I sent Arielle to school with my umbrella because I forgot to get her a new umbrella this weekend. She broke her umbrella last spring. So I had to scurry through the rain from my car to the office today. My sleek blowout is now a huge, wavy frizzball.

I’m going to get back to work now. 😉

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